Wednesday 2 January 2013

Day 1 of my quest for happiness


Hello whoever may be reading this, welcome to my blog. Let's dive straight in shall we?

2012. What a sh*te year. Not enough money, MASSIVE family feuds, 2 year old son in and out of hospital due to apparent asthma and to add insult to injury, plenty of hangovers from the booze that was meant to make all of this better. Guess what? It didn't. All it did was cause me to make a complete prat of myself and fall over in several different places in a very unladylike fashion. I currently have two bruises on my legs, each displaying various colours of the rainbow and I have no recollection of how I got them. Classy. So here I am. I'm ready to sort this out. Ready to come out fighting and grab my life by the horns and what better day to start the battle than the first day of a new year? So if you please, let me introduce you to..... - drum roll please-.....in all it's glory.....my NEW, HAPPY, POSITIVE, PROSPEROUS, NON-SH*TE, LIIIIIIIIIFE!!! YEEEEEESS! *cheers, whoops, whistles ensue*.

Now what? Any ideas? No? Me neither.

This is going to be harder than it looks. Ok, I think we need to take a bit of Fraulein Maria's advice and start at the very beginning - it's a very good place to start.

Let's look at my 'Vital Statistics':

Age:32
Lives: South East London
Sex: Female and not as much as my husband would like
Marital status: Married for 3 years
Children: Daughter 12, son 2
Profession: None
Hobbies: None
Home owner: No

I can see I have three great things going for me, and of course they are my two children and my husband. I'm very pleased with them. I am. But, I am inherently unhappy and have been since I can remember. It's like a cape of unhappiness that I have chosen to wear everyday for years and have been for so long now it's almost a comfort! It's like I've been carrying around a handbag full of receipts and snotty tissues just because to go out without that bag would be too much freedom to handle. WHO KNOWS WHAT MY ARMS AND HANDS MIGHT DO IF I DID NOT HAVE THAT BAG?? 

I might start doing the YMCA or Macarena or star jumps or something as equally embarrassing! God forbid, what would people think? You can't go around doing those kinds of things just because you feel like it! Yes I know other people do all sorts of things but I am not allowed. Why not?? I don't know, just because! The same reason I didn't become the actress I always wanted to be or enjoy learning and speaking another language. It's like, who do I think I am, daring to be successful! That's something others do, not a child of 6 who grew up on the breadline and failed all of her GCSE's. Why else do I not have a career or own a home? It''s simple really. I have NO self confidence. None. Zip. Diddly-squat. 

Well, not any more! No way will I waste another minute holding myself back from doing or being what I want to be! I want a slice of the happy cake and 2013 will be the year I spread my bingo wings and fly! I shall fly without the weight of the handbag that offers me nothing but the crumbs of escapee Baby Rice Cakes and the odd one penny. LET'S DO THIS! BRING IT ON!!
Right, step 1. This body is an Alcohol Free and No Smoking Zone. DO NOT try to tempt me.
Step 2. Think of the other steps.

For however long it takes, I will document my journey and share it with however wishes to read it and comment on it. Wish me luck!

Over and Out,

Ashley 

No comments:

Post a Comment